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Harusawa Kimiko

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Harusawa Kimiko

Post by Vilis on Thu Nov 07, 2013 5:55 pm

Real World

Name: Harusawa Kimiko
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Height: 164 cm
Weight: 56 kg

Appearance
Kimiko is a tall and lean person with a well-balanced body. She has long hair and fair skin, other than the burn mark on her face.
Kimiko:

History
Kimiko was born as an ordinary child, daughter to an ordinary salary-man and his ordinary housewife. Because the two of them really liked the idea of neuro linkers, they had one installed on Kimiko when she was still a baby. Why, exactly, they did that was never made clear to her, but her parents had always been pretty frivolous people. The girl suspected it was simply because they thought it would be interesting for a kid to grow up with one, but they never admitted to such a thing.

The first few years of her life went by like a flash. Zero notable events, nothing really stood out in this girl's life. She was about five years old when the first major change took place for Kimiko. Her mother had left some boiling water in a pot before leaving the kitchen to answer a phone call, resulting in Kimiko being alone in the room. Out of curiosity, she tried to reach for the pot to see what was inside of it, but she ended up dropping it on her head. Some of the water splashed out of it and hit her in the face, forever scarring its right side.

Because of the girl's young age, the damage done could not be fixed completely even with modern science. What was originally a horrible deep red scar that covered most of her face's right side was "fixed" into a smaller one that didn't extend further than her cheek. Even then, it was a clearly visible flaw that immediately drew attention to it. Kimiko grew her hair longer to try and cover it, but there was no way to hide all of it. Other children made fun of her for it, calling her ugly and other names. By the time she was in middle school, she hadn't made a single friend.

While Kimiko hoped the transition from elementary school would lessen the bullying, that was far from it. The summer before she was admitted to her new school, a nearby park, a famous dating spot for the local students, caught on fire. The news reported it as a summer fire, but there was a rumor that someone had actually burnt it down on purpose. When the school term started, those rumors were directed towards Kimiko. By that time, the girl was too reserved to deny that claim, nor did she have any acquaintances there that would know the truth behind her scars.

Tons of hate mail spammed her every day. What used to be silly nicknames and jokes about her looks escalated into threats and all kinds of demeaning messages. Kimiko was afraid that telling the teachers would label her a snitch and forever rob her chance to blend in, so she kept silent. She was hoping that it would all blow over, but no such thing happened. The other students eventually lost interest in her, but there was an unspoken agreement among them not to associate with her.

However, there was one person Kimiko could talk to. She appeared at the beginning of their second year of middle school, a transfer student from Hokkaido who had to move because of her father's job. Nakamura Aki was a really cheerful and friendly person, but she was also a bit quirky. The moment she laid eyes on Kimiko, she approached her and declared herself to be her friend. Although she was taken aback at first, the two of them somehow ended up becoming close friends. To this day, Kimiko still doesn't understand exactly why Aki came to her or why she accepted that weird girl so easily.

Naturally, Aki didn't fit in with the rest of the school since she always hang out with Kimiko, but that didn't really seem to bother her. She was into retro games, the kind that are unpopular with most young people, but she got Kimiko hooked up on them as well. Racing, action, fighting, any genre was fine as long as you didn't need to use your neuro linker for it. Kimiko never really asked why, but she was going to find out the reason in a few years anyway, during their second year of high school. But before that, there was one last important event that took place during their third year of middle school.

It was around autumn when it was announced that the burnt park was not going to be restored, rather, it was going to be used as a construction site for some electronics business. As expected, this rekindled the students' hatred towards Kimiko. Many were patiently waiting for the city to restore the off-limits zone for the public to use and when that turned out not to be the case, they turned their anger towards her again. Spam mail, personal attacks to her belongings, it was the same routine all over again. However, things weren't going to play out the same way.

This time, Kimiko had someone to back her up. Aki was not the kind of person who would just watch as her friend was getting picked on. As soon as she caught wind of what was happening, she urged Kimiko to consult with the teachers. Kimiko had also learned from experience, things weren't going to fix themselves and her position couldn't get any worse than it already was. She showed the mail she was receiving to the principal who took swift action to put a stop to things.

After that, things returned to normal, although Kimiko became slightly more outspoken. The other students didn't bother them much and the two friends didn't bother with them either. Until they managed to get into the same high school, there was a calm before the storm. The storm that is Brain Burst. Kimiko only learned about that peculiar program when Aki decided she was bored playing alone and wanted her friend to be by her side. That was in their second year of high school.

Since Kimiko had no reason to doubt her friend, she installed the application and went to bed like normal that night. She was warned of the nightmare that was to follow and was restless, but she eventually fell asleep. In her dream, she was surrounded by her peers, all of the people that had bullied her to that day. They all pointed their fingers at her and laughed, she felt like she was falling into a deep abyss. Her body hit the bottom with a thud and suddenly, she was surrounded by fire. But the weird thing was, she wasn't afraid of the flames. Rather, she felt like they were on her side. "If only they would just burn." That thought echoed through her head. If only these flames burned away at the people tormenting her.

"Is that what you wish for?"

Kimiko woke up from her dream with a gasp. Cold sweat was running down her face and she had a really ominous feeling. Just what exactly was about to happen to her?

Personality
Kimiko is a rather meek person. She has little confidence in herself, stemming from all the years of bullying in school. She prefers the passive approach when it comes to things, although she did learn how to fight back a little in middle school. Because she only really has one friend, she avoids crowded areas if she can help it. She feels more comfortable being around a few people she can trust and finds it hard to socialize with new ones.

When it comes to the people close to her, Kimiko is a pleasant person to be around. She is quiet for the most part, but she listens closely to what they have to say and only says what she thinks is necessary. She is your typical nice girl who puts others above herself and likes helping them. She is by no means a saint, nor would she exit her comfort zone and go out of her way for a friend, unless it was something really important. She just does what she thinks is right for others first, but also thinks of herself some.

Points of Distinction: Kimiko has a habit of biting her nails when she is feeling pressured.


Brain Burst Avatar
Name: Rose Flare

Appearance: Rose Flare is a light red avatar. It has a tall and lean figure, similar to that of Kimiko's. It has long, curly hair falling down to its back, while a bang covers most of its right face. It has two round eyes and no other facial features except for a tiny nose at its center. The bottom part is covered by a long skirt that stops at her ankles, leaving its end looking like it is scorched. Its arms and legs look like those of a regular person, with no kind of accessory adorning them.

Explanation: Kimiko's wish was for the people that tormented her to feel some of her pain. She wanted them to stay away from her so she could just enjoy the company of her few (or just one) friend(s). This gave birth to the red avatar which uses fire as a long-range weapon to keep others at bay, while also letting them taste what getting burnt feels like.

Parent: Azure Charger

Level: 1
Stats:


    STR: 10 (D)

      DIR: 0 (F)
      AMR: 10 (D)


    TAC: 90 (B+)

      SKL: 70 (B+)
      SDF: 20 (D)


    AGI: 50 (B)
    KG: 50 (B)
    ==========
    ATK: 70 (B+)
    DEF: 30 (C)


Abilities and Armaments

Name: Spark

Cost: 0 (Normal Activation Passive skill)

Description: Flare flicks her fingers and a thin stream of fire shoots out from them. It moves in a straight line and dissipates after about 100 m.

Effect: The first person hit will suffer fire damage.

Weakness: Water.



Name: Searing Sentries

Cost: 5% per post (Limited Activation Passive skill)

Description: Flare creates a set of five sphere of fire that circle around her. They will autonomously attack any hostile Duel Avatar that gets within 30 m of Flare. They will always evenly split up amongst the number of targets with the one closest to Flare taking priority.

Effect: They continually burn their victim.

Weakness: Water. Flare cannot control them in any way, they choose their targets by themselves. If one of the spheres is destroyed in some way, it will be unusable for the next post.



Name: Seeking Heat-Missiles

Cost: 30% (Active Skill)

Description: The spheres from Flare's Searing Sentries expand, shooting out to hunt down her enemies. They will indefinitely track down any number of opponents until they collide with them or one post passes.

Effect: The spheres explode on contact, burning their target and everything in a 1 m radius.

Weakness: Water. Flare needs to have activated Searing Sentries before using this skill, ending it in the process. Searing Sentries is rendered unusable for the next 2 posts.


Last edited by Vilis on Thu Nov 14, 2013 8:35 am; edited 10 times in total
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Re: Harusawa Kimiko

Post by R4yleonard on Tue Nov 12, 2013 5:25 am

1. Add the range for Spark and Seeking Heat Missile
2. Your ability is fire based, all of them should be weak to water. Write it here

Also, I believe the term you're looking for your KM is Heat-seeker



Spoiler:

Jonquil Shadow

Stats :
Spoiler:

- STR : 20 (D)
  > DIR : 10 (D)
  > AMR : 10 (D)
- TAC : 100 (A)
  > SPL : 60 (B)
  > INT : 40 (C)
- AGI : 50 (B)
- KG : 30 (C)

- ATK : 70 (B+)
- DEF : 50 (B)


Killer Move : Anonymous
Cost : 30%
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Age : 21
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Re: Harusawa Kimiko

Post by Vilis on Tue Nov 12, 2013 5:50 am

Done and no, that's not the term I am looking for. The skill's name is a play on words.
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Re: Harusawa Kimiko

Post by R4yleonard on Tue Nov 12, 2013 6:54 am



Spoiler:

Jonquil Shadow

Stats :
Spoiler:

- STR : 20 (D)
  > DIR : 10 (D)
  > AMR : 10 (D)
- TAC : 100 (A)
  > SPL : 60 (B)
  > INT : 40 (C)
- AGI : 50 (B)
- KG : 30 (C)

- ATK : 70 (B+)
- DEF : 50 (B)


Killer Move : Anonymous
Cost : 30%
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R4yleonard
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Posts : 468
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Re: Harusawa Kimiko

Post by Destination on Tue Nov 12, 2013 8:36 am

All your abilities seem to be long-range or ranged attacks, so it'd be more of a reddish colour.

Fortunately your history fits a Red's history too, so all you'll need is to adjust the colour word.


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Lore: Fill up the story and integrate with current system of avatars.
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Re: Harusawa Kimiko

Post by Vilis on Tue Nov 12, 2013 5:01 pm

Redone.
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Re: Harusawa Kimiko

Post by Destination on Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:26 pm

Approved.

Naka pointed out the excessive strength of the moves, so I'm withdrawing my approval.


Last edited by Tusjecht on Sat Nov 23, 2013 9:27 am; edited 1 time in total


Signature added by Tusjecht
==================================
Rebuild Thread progress: 2/5 posts completed
To do: Rulebook, possible FAQ.
Lore: Fill up the story and integrate with current system of avatars.
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Re: Harusawa Kimiko

Post by Nakara on Sat Nov 23, 2013 3:18 am

Well since R4 hasn't rechecked this and it has been almost a week i decided to take a look my thoughts are that your ability is rather overpowered in a few ways.

Firstly it is not one but five attacks that will be hitting the opponent this in itself is rather concerning but the real problem is that they are all homing attacks and it seems from the description they can't be dodged(even if one or two could with 5 homing attacks its going to be impossible anyway).

Next point I noticed was the "weakness" of your ability "Flare cannot control them in any way, they choose their targets by themselves." while you say this is a weakness it is in fact a HUGE advantage because it means that you can focus entirely on dodging and also as soon as the opponent gets within 30 meters regardless of evasion techniques like my illusions or R4's shadow EA the flames will automatically seek out and kill you without you the player even needing to know that the opponent is nearby.

The final point of this all is that for all this power it costs a mere 5% kg per post which means you can(and furthermore there is nor reason not to) keep this ability up from the first post onwards allowing you to prevent all sneak attacks and kill anyone with a smaller range than you long before they get close(Your one attack is equal to 5 of most peoples after all). Well all this said if other AT people still think this is fair I suppose I'll have no choice but to accept it.
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Re: Harusawa Kimiko

Post by Vilis on Sat Nov 23, 2013 9:14 am

Ooookay? What do you suggest I do?
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Re: Harusawa Kimiko

Post by Guest on Wed Dec 11, 2013 10:20 pm

What you can do is reduce the range for your attacks

Problem: 100 meters for a flamethrower is far too much at level one.

Suggestion: I can agree to anything 10 meters and below.

Problem: Your Searing Sentries also reacting to anything within 30 meters is also very overpowered, I mean the only people who can hit you with that range are snipers everyone else is just going to get burned. Also 5% cost for summoning 5 of them it 1% per fireball which is too low of cost.

Suggestion: Reduce range to 3 meters radius, and increased cost to 15% KG

Problem: Heat Seeking Missiles, 1 meter Splash Damage and Homing abilities. This makes your move extremely overpowered

Suggestion: No splash damage, and no homing capabilities but can be shot beyond the normal range of the setup sentry move

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