Latest topics
» Marine Hunter (waiting for verification)
Sun Jun 17, 2018 2:53 pm by Ember jailer

» Character Creation & Combat System
Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:25 pm by Miale-Sempai

» Hold the phone!
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:01 am by josh64male

» Inkwell Leviathan vs Celeste Diamond
Wed Feb 07, 2018 9:57 am by josh64male

» Spring Rain Ribbon (Waiting for Feedback)
Sat Feb 03, 2018 11:44 am by Miale-Sempai

» Marine Hunter (wip)
Sun Jan 28, 2018 6:33 pm by Miale-Sempai

» Iron Tyrant (Completed)
Tue Jan 23, 2018 11:00 am by Miale-Sempai

» Celeste Diamond(revised)
Tue Jan 23, 2018 10:52 am by Miale-Sempai

» The Character Sheet
Tue Jan 23, 2018 9:56 am by Miale-Sempai

Navigation
 Portal
 Index
 Memberlist
 Profile
 FAQ
 Search

Haruka Junko Mio

Go down

Haruka Junko Mio

Post by HarukaJunko on Sun Oct 20, 2013 9:18 pm

Real World:
Name: Haruka junko

Age: 18

Gender:  female

Appearance:
(minus shoulder armor and sword.)

Just normal purple haired girl, she has a long pink sweater with a purple shirt under it. Also wearing jeans

History: Haruka, from birth to her first day of ballet, was just an average girl with purple hair. ( normal from her parents perspective that is, who has the doctors change her hair color at birth with nano machines.)) at the age of 12 she started ballet, having told her parents that it was fun looking. So her parents decided to take her and see how long she would love it, and turns out she was damn good. But alas even though she was the best out of everyone, able to last much longer and fluently the others, the instructor hated her. She put her always second, forcing Haruka to be below her daughter (who was the second worst in the class. First being the mother.) Haruka did not mind though, been raised to be nice and gentle as a child to others. Though it built up, hatred for the other girl. Haruka knew she was better and everyone knew it, but she bit her tongue and waited. She would have gotten her chance to be lead to, if the accident did not happen near her. During a performance for the parents all the girls got to dance, Haruka and the other child were on stage together when the instructors daughter fell of the stage, snapping her neck on the floor. Unfortunately for haruka she was helping the girl balance for a move. When the girl was announced dead, the instructor was furious, blaming Haruka for everything, spouting to everyone it was her fault and under her nice face she was a monster who had to have it her way. Throw out of ballet ((and any plays in her whole area, or dance studios)) Haruka was heartbroken, but persevered. After failing to prove she was innocent, she started practicing on her own at home, imagining herself on stage again later in her life. But alas all good hopes are slain for her when she breaks her ankle. And while it does heal enough to normally walk on it, a problem while fixing it causes the ankle to give out under heavy pressure such as any ballet move. Her dreams slain, she continued out her life as a normal girl. That was till one of her old friends from ballet class came to her. She talked of this amazing program she got, quickly telling Haruka to direct link. This was sudden but did not think of any harm that could be done. Soon enough it installed and she knew, this was no ordinary program.

Personality: a nice woman, who has a gentle outlook, she does not actively look to hurt people, though upon finding brain burst, she does not see it as hurting someone inside of that, but just being a game that feels real. But she will always try to be nice, and lighten the mood.

Points of Distinction: Purple hair… that’s about it really.


Brain Burst Avatar: forest dancer
Appearance:

the picture, minus the shoulder armor.

Explanation: the character moves and attacks with beautiful precision, each a swing and step that could aww a ballet crowd with the majestic dance of death.


Parent: Cyan Ridge


Stats:


STR: 80 (B+)

DIR: 50 (B)
AMR: 10

TAC: 0 (F)

SPL: 20
INT: 0 (F)

AGI: 70 (B+)
KG: 50 (B)
==========
ATK: 50 (B)
DEF: 30 (C)
B&W: 20 from ARM to AGI and 20from arm to SPL





Abilities and Armaments: You have (1 Killer move) and (1 Ability [Passive or Active] or 1 Starting Armament).

-Name: dancers sway

-Cost: 0

-Description: While moving, Royal's body moves, twists and sways like a ballet dancer, making sure that she is random in her movements

-Effect:  any range attack that is not an illusion, has a 35% chance to miss.

-Weakness: close range attacks and indirect attacks like illusions.

Name: Dancers death snap

Cost: 75% KG

Description: Closes on her target before elegantly wrapping her flexible body around a limb of her opponents, before combining a throw of her body and pressure from her body to break/tear said limb.

Effect: opponent is locked up until ether they break free, or the limb comes off (dir must be equal or higher or have better agility)

Weakness: I am up close so if I don’t grab, it means that I am up close and vulnerable to attack.


Last edited by HarukaJunko on Wed Nov 06, 2013 11:14 pm; edited 9 times in total

HarukaJunko
Newbie

Posts : 7
Join date : 2013-10-18
Age : 22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Haruka Junko Mio

Post by R4yleonard on Wed Oct 23, 2013 9:26 am

The common practices for name is [First Name] [Last name], which usually consist of only 2 words. Either change the name or explain how you end up with 3
Next, the pic aside, Dancer didn't use claw. A weapon usually carried dancer is folding fans with bladed end. Also in this case what you want is to dance again. This will not fit with the claw. The folding fan I mentioned can't be used too, since the dancer in this case is ballet. And how your reaction (living a normal life) doesn't seem to fit with the color blue (facing the trauma head on)


Spoiler:

Jonquil Shadow

Stats :
Spoiler:

- STR : 20 (D)
  > DIR : 10 (D)
  > AMR : 10 (D)
- TAC : 100 (A)
  > SPL : 60 (B)
  > INT : 40 (C)
- AGI : 50 (B)
- KG : 30 (C)

- ATK : 70 (B+)
- DEF : 50 (B)


Killer Move : Anonymous
Cost : 30%
avatar
R4yleonard
Senior

Posts : 468
Join date : 2012-08-21
Age : 22
Location : Jakarta, Indonesia

Character Stats
Name: Jonquil Shadow
Level: 1
Burst Points:
125/300  (125/300)

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Haruka Junko Mio

Post by HarukaJunko on Mon Oct 28, 2013 10:31 pm

Actually I said in there she tried to prove herself innocent, and on top of that, she persevered and danced on her own. Edited by the ay for moves and took out the claw.

HarukaJunko
Newbie

Posts : 7
Join date : 2013-10-18
Age : 22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Haruka Junko Mio

Post by Sado Ikaru on Mon Oct 28, 2013 11:45 pm

Stat-wise, you're missing ATK, DEF, and B&W. Which, btw, are 50, 50, and (probably, since you appear to have moved 25 SPL into DIR) 25.
avatar
Sado Ikaru
Senior

Posts : 299
Join date : 2012-11-08
Age : 25

Character Stats
Name: Atoll Boxer
Level: 1
Burst Points:
90/300  (90/300)

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Haruka Junko Mio

Post by R4yleonard on Tue Oct 29, 2013 6:07 am

Dancer's Sway lacks detail. Only saying "harder to be hit" is not enough.


Spoiler:

Jonquil Shadow

Stats :
Spoiler:

- STR : 20 (D)
  > DIR : 10 (D)
  > AMR : 10 (D)
- TAC : 100 (A)
  > SPL : 60 (B)
  > INT : 40 (C)
- AGI : 50 (B)
- KG : 30 (C)

- ATK : 70 (B+)
- DEF : 50 (B)


Killer Move : Anonymous
Cost : 30%
avatar
R4yleonard
Senior

Posts : 468
Join date : 2012-08-21
Age : 22
Location : Jakarta, Indonesia

Character Stats
Name: Jonquil Shadow
Level: 1
Burst Points:
125/300  (125/300)

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Haruka Junko Mio

Post by HarukaJunko on Tue Oct 29, 2013 9:37 pm

Stats and Sway have been adjusted.

HarukaJunko
Newbie

Posts : 7
Join date : 2013-10-18
Age : 22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Haruka Junko Mio

Post by HarukaJunko on Thu Oct 31, 2013 10:20 pm

bump

HarukaJunko
Newbie

Posts : 7
Join date : 2013-10-18
Age : 22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Haruka Junko Mio

Post by Destination on Fri Nov 01, 2013 11:10 pm

Tbh, your stats aren't quite acceptable because of their presentation. Here's a template which I've filled (mostly) for you, do look through.

Stats:


    STR: 80 (B+)

      DIR: 50 (B)
      AMR: 30 (C)


    TAC: 0 (F)

      SPL: 0 (F)
      INT: 0 (F)


    AGI: 70 (B+)
    KG: 50 (B)
    ==========
    ATK: 50 (B)
    DEF: 30 (C)
    B&W: (From where to where?)


The last one is important, B&W shows both how many points did you shift, and from where did you shift them.

Looking through the rest of your application, I have comments:

-As the others have already brought up, when your name is already a full Japanese name, "Mio" as a possible nickname is odd since it is quite different from the rest of her name. I'd accept 'Haru' as a nickname though.

(Japanese naming system also does not have middle names either.)

-Since her immediate reaction after being blamed for someone's death was to carry on dancing, essentially reaching out for the one thing she wants to do most rather than obsess about it, acknowledging something is wrong yet attempting to carry on; her trauma better fits a Green colour. Do consider.

That's all I have for now.[/list]


Signature added by Tusjecht
==================================
Rebuild Thread progress: 2/5 posts completed
To do: Rulebook, possible FAQ.
Lore: Fill up the story and integrate with current system of avatars.
==================================

Stuck on how to write a character? It's not about being different, it's about being clear and concise with your understanding. Come to the Discord channel!
avatar
Destination
Senior

Posts : 417
Join date : 2013-04-25
Age : 23
Location : Singapore

Character Stats
Name:
Level:
Burst Points:
0/0  (0/0)

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Haruka Junko Mio

Post by HarukaJunko on Wed Nov 06, 2013 10:55 pm

Bump

HarukaJunko
Newbie

Posts : 7
Join date : 2013-10-18
Age : 22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Haruka Junko Mio

Post by HarukaJunko on Wed Nov 13, 2013 6:22 am

bump

HarukaJunko
Newbie

Posts : 7
Join date : 2013-10-18
Age : 22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Haruka Junko Mio

Post by Neko Miale on Fri Nov 15, 2013 8:41 am

Just gonna joint out that both Nakara and Tusjecht were saying your stats were wrong.
avatar
Neko Miale
Administrator

Posts : 254
Join date : 2013-02-02
Age : 25

Character Stats
Name: Emerald Valkyria
Level: 1
Burst Points:
100/300  (100/300)

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Haruka Junko Mio

Post by Destination on Fri Nov 15, 2013 9:10 am

I'll post later, I'm busy.


Signature added by Tusjecht
==================================
Rebuild Thread progress: 2/5 posts completed
To do: Rulebook, possible FAQ.
Lore: Fill up the story and integrate with current system of avatars.
==================================

Stuck on how to write a character? It's not about being different, it's about being clear and concise with your understanding. Come to the Discord channel!
avatar
Destination
Senior

Posts : 417
Join date : 2013-04-25
Age : 23
Location : Singapore

Character Stats
Name:
Level:
Burst Points:
0/0  (0/0)

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Haruka Junko Mio

Post by Sado Ikaru on Sat Nov 16, 2013 12:33 am

Unless Tusjecht changed that part of the stat system, B&W can only move points from one stat to one other.
avatar
Sado Ikaru
Senior

Posts : 299
Join date : 2012-11-08
Age : 25

Character Stats
Name: Atoll Boxer
Level: 1
Burst Points:
90/300  (90/300)

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Haruka Junko Mio

Post by Destination on Sat Nov 16, 2013 1:44 am

Okay, your stats again aren't done right...the STR and TAC doesn't add up properly.

Also, although your armour is near zero, and your agility is pretty high, you are a Forest Green colour, which is too close to pure green fro you to have such a stat distribution.

At this point, the easiest thing to do is to choose a darker green colour word, your picture for it is alright.


Signature added by Tusjecht
==================================
Rebuild Thread progress: 2/5 posts completed
To do: Rulebook, possible FAQ.
Lore: Fill up the story and integrate with current system of avatars.
==================================

Stuck on how to write a character? It's not about being different, it's about being clear and concise with your understanding. Come to the Discord channel!
avatar
Destination
Senior

Posts : 417
Join date : 2013-04-25
Age : 23
Location : Singapore

Character Stats
Name:
Level:
Burst Points:
0/0  (0/0)

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Haruka Junko Mio

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum