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Arashi Satou (Lightning Gadget) (Taser Edit complete)

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Re: Arashi Satou (Lightning Gadget) (Taser Edit complete)

Post by Destination on Mon Oct 21, 2013 10:07 am

So, I've read through your app and have a few comments, most of them on Lightning Gadget itself.

-LG is stated to have two special abilities, one of which has a cost simply labelled 'Passive' and the other as 25% KG. I don't recall saying that the moves available at a Level 1 was changed with the stat system.

I'll therefore take Gadgets As Limbs as an ability having zero cost, and start my comment proper: the move permits too much to be done at Level 1. Breaking himself into 8 pieces surely costs him his mobility and a fair bit of defensive power; that's what I'd accept if the cost of GaL is free. And that's nothing to say of eight pieces, quite a way to carve up an avatar...voluntarily.

-GaL's main fault as a move itself is also that it allows too much to be done. For it's current zero cost, and since no delay period to reform LG was given I'm assuming it's instantaneous, it's too good a defensive skill. As I understand, it allows Gadget to break himself apart whenever an attack comes at him and then reform himself, unharmed and ready to hit back. I'll leave it to the imaginations of others what this means for all kinds of attacks...

-Conduction is his KM, I assume? Then the cost needs to be detailed such that it's an instant consumption of the 25%, in case it's unclear. I may be approving you, but the others are watching too.

Now overall, I find that the main focus of Gadget is in the ability to split himself apart and reform, possibly elsewhere too. I find the link to Satou's trauma particularly shaky as well:


    Trauma: "Arashi seemed to be oblivious to these threats and just laughed it off but deep down he was hurting especially when his gadgets were broken."

    Reaction: "He stopped providing tech support on a school-wide basis and just withdrew himself into a computer lab."


If you ask me, this sounds more like the trauma of a Red, not a Yellow. A Yellow would have continued with business as usual, or even taken a leaf from Noumi's books and used his gadgets to manipulate his bullies, getting them into trouble. That he doesn't seems to hold any anger against them (Reference: He thinks about situations and tries to come up with solutions to problems. He rarely holds hate against people but he does have a breaking point.") is even more contradictory. Last, and maybe not least, is the second contradiction that he "tries to come up with solutions to problems", yet his solution is to retreat to the computer lab and leave his enemies behind: inaction and an apparent belief in a lack of personal strength.

Overall, Arashi gives me both a James Bond-like vibe and a curious touch of cowardice. The James Bond analogy seems fitting in more than one way as well... <_<

Not approved.


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Re: Arashi Satou (Lightning Gadget) (Taser Edit complete)

Post by Nakara on Mon Oct 21, 2013 10:49 am

In addition to Tus' comments I would point out that "Lightning" isn't really a color, doing a google search yielded no results for it and lightning itself is usually white not yellow but can be ANY color.
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Re: Arashi Satou (Lightning Gadget) (Taser Edit complete)

Post by Detective on Mon Oct 21, 2013 5:55 pm

Hi there, I am no mod admin or anything, but I think I can help in limiting your ability for level one a bit Smile


First, why not give a limitation to how far can the parts be from the main body (I suggest the torso+chest part), so that body parts won't be able to strike from far away.

Second, I presume the parts move on their own by levitating if I understood correctly, no? if so, give a distance to how high you can go (which would make sense here of course XD), and if possible, make it so that the feet parts will have to stay on, or atleast near the ground, so that there'll be a rough estimate of where that limitation starts.

The third is a question actually - how can you tell where your parts are? and if you can tell where the other parts are, you still need to see the parts when they in a longer distance away from you to correctly aim with them to your opponent no? (unless you can see with all 8 parts...), I believe that can be another limitation as well Smile

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Re: Arashi Satou (Lightning Gadget) (Taser Edit complete)

Post by Destination on Thu Oct 24, 2013 9:15 am

Alright, after two days of back-breaking running and obstacle clearing I finally have the time to see your character.

About the limbs, I understand that they must touch the opponent to execute Conduction. Could they also grab onto the opponent and hinder movement? How much strength is needed to escape their grip?

After a single use of Conduction, each limb needs to be reattached to the body and recharged; can they make their way back, or does Gadget need to come over and fetch the part?

Minor point: your Points of Distinction entry is still WIP.

As for your question, 'having (his) gadgets take revenge' is not necessarily a Blue reaction since the link between aggressor and target is less clear. Anyway the trauma is now much better and reflexts a Yellow's manipulative nature more truer than your initial attempt.

I'll be available this weekend of course, so if you can clarify the last bit about your limbs then I'll approve you.


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Re: Arashi Satou (Lightning Gadget) (Taser Edit complete)

Post by Destination on Thu Oct 24, 2013 7:04 pm

Approved. Play nicely and sensibly.


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Re: Arashi Satou (Lightning Gadget) (Taser Edit complete)

Post by Nakara on Tue Dec 03, 2013 4:56 pm

Approved
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Re: Arashi Satou (Lightning Gadget) (Taser Edit complete)

Post by Neko Miale on Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:36 pm

I approve this.
(Tusjecht if you got a complain on this you better put up some good reasons. )
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